1 Gareth, Neil, Tom, Alek, and Ollie attempt the disinterested band look with varied results
Ellen Campesinos!
Ellen Campesinos! Tour Diary, Part 1
The tour is just beginning and the Los Campesinos! bassist encounters rappers in diners, pigs’ feet at truck stops, and sausages in wrestling mode
By Ellen Campesinos
Published: January 23rd, 2009 | 7:10pm
I am the bassist for the seven-member, Cardiff-based band Los Campesinos! and we are on a four-month excursion around North America starting with a 24-date tour around the East Coast. We will be performing in various college towns — supported by the mighty Titus Andronicus — as well as eating lots of Twinkies, waffles, and pickles in bags.
Wednesday January 14, 2009 — New York City
The difficulties for this tour started with the packing, I had to plan all my stage outfits in advance, as well as bring mountains of practical clothes for eyeball-freezing weather. Our first port of call was New York but how could I pull off ‘convincing hipster’ with three T-shirts and a jumper on?
It was so cold when we arrived; I considered buying Long Johns and Neil (guitarist of rhythm fame) even showed his off. I then realized that they looked like overgrown briefs for grandads, so thought better of it.
Our first bit of “work” started in Brooklyn with promo. This involved getting in position for the leaning-against-the-wall-looking-disinterested photo. Photographers love this shot because it makes us look really dangerous. See how threatening we look?
Bowling is our next chore/clever way of buttering us up for another interview, and I lose by a disheartening 60 points. I was asked if we had bowling in Wales. I wanted to lie and tell him that we just stood in fields pummeling sheep with leeks. But sometimes I manage to mentally check my thoughts before they leave my mouth…. Sometimes I point out that I’m bad at bowling but good in bed during filmed interviews. Sigh.
Thursday January 15, 2009 — Baltimore
We head to Baltimore, where the doors are small and where the movie Hairspray is set, so I had “Good morning Baltimore!” on a constant loop in my head.
I went to my first diner of the tour and wept into my cup of soup with joy. I love diners. I love the laminated menu with 400 different types of breakfast, the fact that you can eat it ‘ALL DAY,’ and how I have no idea what grits or biscuits are.
I also loved the cook who gave Alek [vocals, horn, and keys] his card, telling her he was “a hardcore rapper.” We did check out his MySpace and admired his original composition, “Just Another Whore,” for its lyrical prowess and important messages about misogyny against women.
We also meet Titus Andronicus properly. They seem interesting/friendly/not too much of a party band, which is important to us. We like a drink but combined with eight hours of sleep and sitting down at regular intervals.
The two-hour rehearsal we squeezed in paid off and the gig went really well, (apart from the person in the crowd who distracted the guitarist virtuoso that is Tom with his constant farting). I forgot a few bits here and there and my ear plugs fell out but it’s a reassuring start to the next four weeks.
Friday January 16, 2009 — Chapel Hill
Today we celebrated Tom’s birthday in Chapel Hill. Avel (guitar tech supreme) bought Tom some herbal Viagra and his namesake in the form of crisps.
There was a six-hour drive from Baltimore to Chapel Hill. Being squished in a van for that long gets depressing. But Chapel Hill is a pretty little college town, even though they all fade into another after a while. It feels depressing to say that at 23.
Tom hates birthday-related attention, so we embarrassed him suitably by singing “Happy Birthday” on stage, and then some girls clamored up and danced for a bit — possibly in birthday spirit or possibly for the attention that they don’t get at home.
A bit of the club’s ceiling nearly fell off, and Gareth (melodic singer) dented Ollie’s (percussionist star) drum by using it for some gymnastics, but it was another fuckup-free event.
Post-gig, Tom received a chocolate vegan cake that had “You’re a big boy now” emblazoned on it in icing so he felt patronized.
We don’t “party” tonight as we have to get up at 8 a.m. the next day for a seven-hour drive to Atlanta. But there is some late-night entertainment outside the hotel with Gareth and Ollie wrestling in their pants, whilst Neil referees. This has happened twice on tour, and I’m assuming that it’s a subtle way of comparing penis length.
Saturday January 17, 2009 — Atlanta
On Saturday, we drive for five years to Atlanta, but I get to sit in the front which is a dream come true for someone who has older siblings so usually has to wait her “turn” for such a car position.
Before we get there I suffer excruciating embarrassment in the form of a phone interview, which involves us answering three questions each, before passing the handset around the van. Being asked the inane question “Why are you the fun Campesino?” and having to come up with a witty answer whilst everyone listens and good-naturedly mocks you is my idea of hell. Especially when I say that I am “the quick-witted one” and peals of laughter erupt from behind me. I was being self-deprecating OK? I am actually the Campesinos! who knows the most about vampire slayer Buffy.
Monday January 19, 2009 — Jacksonville
Myself and Ollie explore Jacksonville next and manage to catch the Martin Luther King Parade, which is a surreal experience, mainly because the last American parade I saw was during Mardi Gras in Louisiana and involved a float called “The Leather Coalition.”
The gig goes better then during the previous night and is the best I have seen Titus, despite the fact that the audience are deathly silent between songs and several people question what we are doing in this particular town.
Post-gig, I encounter one of the biggest muppets of my life (muppet means idiot in the UK), who kept asking me to marry him during the gig. I try and avoid him after but he corners me at the bar and starts revealing that he is, in fact, a right-wing racist. He assumes I know nothing about politics because apparently in the UK we only get the “narrow view,” and he will not be celebrating the inauguration because he thinks Obama is a socialist.
The douchebag asks for my e-mail address. Even though I evidently don’t want to give it, he persists. I give him a slightly altered one. It gets creepier when he actually checks if it’s real with Alek, who does not notice the alteration and later confesses her confusion at the fact that I gave this nutter contact details.
I settle her nerves, and we drink disgusting wine whilst everyone in the los camp/titus team plays pool around us. I don’t stay up, however — even though Titus are staying over in our hotel rooms — because the wine has made me slightly slurry. I do discover the next day that the boys all compared Long Johns, arm wrestled, and chugged beer. This tour is turning into a jock-sausage fest.
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For more information about Los Campesinos!, check out their MySpace.
Los Campesinos! will be on tour throughout winter 2009. For a handy-dandy list of dates, check their tour calendar.
Their new album, We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed (Arts & Crafts), can be found at fine music retailers near you.
Issue #44
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